Heartbeat
by Kitty Katana
Summary: Kagura reflects on her life, her freedom, and her love. Spoilers... read inside for details.


Heartbeat 

Story by Rumiko Takahashi ((Based on Volume 38, Chapters 371-374, "Kaze"))

Interpretation by Kitty Katana

Last Warning… I'm not sure if they'll get to this in the anime (seeing as it is ending) but I will not be responsible for anyone's ruined experience henceforth. 

_Naraku… you bastard… _

The field was emerald green, sprinkled with reds, blues, yellows and a thousand other colors perhaps witnessed by no other being. It was magical, yet bittersweet. She could see it from her position on the feather. It was all quickly behind her speeding form. But the pace of a living corpse wasn't fast enough to keep the transport aloft.

The huge feather dropped, slamming into the earth and crushing the grasses beneath it, sending Kagura splayed across the ground. It felt as though she was being torn at the seams, ripped apart piece by piece. Stilling, she could hear a steady beat. She put a hand to her chest which incidentally wasn't there anymore. Black hair was spilled around her in the field of wildflowers, caught on the barbs of golden yellow flowers and stems of snow white daisies. She could see miasma like black smoke rising from her. At least she could still feel her heartbeat. It echoed in her ears.

--Flashback--

"Naraku…"

Oh, he knew of her betrayal now, and her small alliance with Inuyasha and the company he kept. He knew she'd told them where his heart was. He knew all she really wanted was to see him dead- by any means. He knew she'd been betraying him from the beginning. And now she braced for her death by his hand. But he didn't strike… he spoke.

"…Kagura, I shall set you free."

It seemed too good to be true. Was he offering her… the heart that she had wanted since the moment she'd laid eyes on her creator, her 'father.' Was he offering a life without him. In her utter state of confusion and euphoria, she almost assumed there were no strings attached.

"You'd actually give me my freedom?"

"That's right Kagura. You wanted to be separated from me, didn't you? Which is why you wanted me out of the way and searched for the location of my heart."

She looked skeptical.

"You know that much, but would really give me freedom?"

In response, he held out the one thing she'd desired above all other things… her heart. It sat in his hand beating with a soft rhythm that made her tense enough to want to jump forward and simply snatch it from him. But she didn't. She held back.

"I'll return it to you… You will be free."

In a single instant, it vanished and seemed to simply appear inside her chest. For an instant, the emptiness was gone and she was absolutely, perfectly, unconditionally free. But only for an instant.

There were three of them, sharp as knives with deadly intention. The tentacles struck, piercing her chest. He looked at her, returned by a sharp glare of unadulterated hatred and shock. "Don't worry. I avoided your precious heart."

She growled a curse and struck at him, only to have her wind blades cast aside by a barrier. The tentacles ripped out. He snickered something about going, and she did without hesitation.

--End--

So she'd come here. Come to die all alone, a child of Satan in an ethereal meadow in the remote hills. Oh, she hated it. Hated it all. Fate was cruel.

With a grunt of effort, she managed to sit up. She wanted to be dignified when she died, not a sniveling mess. She could hear her heart beat again. It was such a liberating sound. She was free, free to go wherever she wanted to go and not have to worry about anybody's rules. But her body wouldn't obey. This was freedom? It was a cursed freedom, in the very epitome of Naraku's twisted mind. She had freedom, but he'd destroyed her means with which she could practice it.

She wondered what Kohaku was doing, maybe his sister had found him… maybe they were both embracing right now. And Kohaku would be smiling and the group would ask him if he remembered anything and if he was alright. She wished she had a real family like that. The so-called family of Naraku's was nothing compared to that. Kanna was the closest thing she'd ever have to a sister, she didn't even want to think about Naraku in any fatherly way… There was no one to miss her, nothing to suggest she'd ever really lived but a path of destruction, a dead wolf tribe and an angry Naraku. Was there really anything to _live_ for?

Yes… there was him… Sesshoumaru. He was like some untouchable force, something so powerful and elusive that she'd never quite understand him, as much as she wished she could, as a friend or an enemy. Those stupid brothers had put her through more than her share of trouble. Well, she'd probably never see either of them again. She'd never see him. Why did that bother her so much? Why did it make her feel like that very same heart had dropped into her stomach? Why was it that every time he looked at her she felt a little less of Naraku's hold? And now that she had a heart, when she thought about him it beat a little faster.

No, not possible. Surely, he was just a convenient acquaintance, part of the twisted web of lives that created this nightmare. …Wasn't he? Even if she did… _love_ him, which was still a topic of speculation, she was a spawn of Naraku, his enemy. She'd never see him again…

But there was a noise, a gentle footfall beside her. She glanced up, hoping the intruder would just end the suffering. But there he was. Silver hair blowing in the wind that followed him everywhere, everything about him drenched in an uncanny light. He was looking at her with the apathetic gaze that he looked at everything with, but maybe she'd seen a spark of something beneath that.

"I came following the scent of Naraku's miasma."

Oh. She looked at him, not attempting to hide the look of utter disappointment. Just looking for Naraku. As if Naraku would be caught in a field of flowers. That would be the day. She recovered quickly to shoot a sharp word back at him, staring at the ground angrily.

"Heh… Did I disappoint you?"

He didn't look at her for a moment. His gaze was off at the tree line as if some epic piece of history were taking place. She waited, trapped in a moment of silence, always trapped. And then he spoke again.

"I knew it was you."

Her crimson eyes widened. He knew… why did he bother? Had he come to laugh at her, sitting on the ground, a crumpled mess of semi-life? No, that wasn't his style. But why? She refused to give it more credit than a chance encounter as he left. Still, he'd stopped… he came knowing she was there…

She felt the air stir as he moved. His clawed left hand was on Tenseiga's hilt. She was aware that it would never work, but the thought was nice. It would be over pretty soon anyway. He froze, apparently realizing the same thing. It was over, and there was nothing either of them could do about it but stand in silence and wait for the inevitable.

"…You leaving?"

She looked up. What, was he counting the seconds? Oh, she wasn't going to die angry at anybody but Naraku. She brushed it off with a quiet response.

"Yeah… soon…"

There were pounding feet. Ahh, the cavalry had arrived. She looked them over for a split second. Inuyasha was at the front of the pack, followed by Kagome and the priest. And yes… there was Kohaku and his sister. It would be a lie to say she wasn't pleased. Nobody spoke, but there was a general air of desperation. Why did they care about the life of an enemy? She'd helped them once and they were rushing to her aid.

She was ready. She looked up at the celestial being who was watching as his half-brother approached. _At least I got to see you in the end…_

And the wind witch smiled. A feather seemed to materialize, dancing into the crystal blue sky as her body disintegrated. It was gone, but she could feel her heart beating, she could see them around her. She was wind… she was free at last! With a completion she'd never felt, the final gust that was Kagura flew through the silver hair of the youkai in front of her and took off into the azure sky.

On earth, the remaining group stood. Sesshoumaru took a step away.

"Wait a minute!" Inuyasha stopped him in his tracks. Sesshoumaru didn't turn around as his brother's voice quieted. "Was Kagura… suffering?"

The youkai looked up to where the little white feather was dancing on the wind. It caught a breeze and drifted away. He spoke as he watched. "She was smiling…"

Over the field, the wind blew whispering songs of nothing.

I am the wind… 

_…As free as the wind._

Additional Notation: Volume translations thanks to Chris Rijk at Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi


End file.
